Sometimes my heart is so full of love or sorrow or both, that it feels as if it might burst.

Have you heard of Broken Heart Syndrome? (“Your doctor may call this stress-induced cardiomyopathy“ or “transient left ventricular apical ballooning syndrome”.) I first read about it in one of The NY Times medical mysteries columns. It is a condition that most commonly occurs in middle aged or older women though the article was about a man. You know how they used to call women “hysterical” if they had a strong visceral response to physical or emotional trauma? Well Broken Heart Syndrome (also called Takotsubo Syndrome) is a new take on that. It occurs after a physically or emotionally intense event. The event can be joyful or devastating or just extremely strenuous. The body responds with a “fight or flight” reaction pouring large quantities of adrenalin or cortisol into the bloodstream which causes the left ventricle of the heart to distend into an enlarged shape. It looks like a takotsubo, a Japanese clay vessel used to capture octopuses (octopi?). The syndrome was first discovered and named in Japan. It can take weeks or months but the heart usually returns to its normal shape eventually. A romantic disease.

An aside – When my mother was pregnant with us twins she used to say she had an octopus inside her…and in some ways she did – eight limbs – four arms, four legs floating around inside her. I wonder if her uterus was shaped like an upside down Takotsubo.

A POEM:

Conditions of the Heart

My father was a physician who specialized in Cardiology.

He taught me all the scientific terms for what could go wrong with the heart.

I am a hopeless romantic and so had to interpret them on my own terms to truly understand:

• Arrhythmia – An erratic heart that just can’t keep the beat.

• Atrial Fibrillation – A trembling heart.

• Atherosclerosis – A narrowing of the way in or out of the heart.

• Cardiomegaly – A heart that is too big; a heavy heart.

• Heart Murmur – A softly complaining heart.

• Ischemia – A pale heart.

• Pericardial infusion – A heart floating, unmoored.

• Pericarditis – A heart inflamed.

• Tachycardia – A wildly beating heart.

• Congestive Heart Failure – A weak heart, unable to keep up with the demands placed upon it.

• Myocardial Infarct – A broken heart, parts of which cannot get enough sustenance and die.

• A Healthy Heart (for which my father had no scientific term) –

Resilient, opening and closing where and when it should;

Beating steady and strong,

A heart that nourishes body and soul and lets another in.

The card I made for the Vernal Equinox 2020 still holds true today.

And some of my favorite Spring creatures as well:

Oh and a flower:

Happy Vernal Equinox!

My chickens are starting to lay more eggs again as they do every Spring no matter before, during or after a pandemic. I love my chickens and I love their eggs (fast and easy to cook in a multitude of different ways, high protein too) but sometimes I overdo it and eat so many that I have nightmares about them (The eggs, not the chickens.)

Today something about the pandemic and personal space….Have you noticed that people are more comfortable at a greater distance apart than pre-pandemic? (You know, the “six feet apart” rule.) Sometimes I need to lean in closer to hear someone, especially if they are wearing a mask, and I occasionally sense a deep discomfort on their part. Am I invading their new personal space? I wonder if that will change again as the pandemic winds down. On the other hand people are craving physical closeness more than ever. An odd coexistence.

That’s all for now. See ya’s tomorrow.

After a brief digression for Purim, back to my pandemic journal.

Oh and here’s a self portrait of BaaBaa and me

Another small digression from my semi-chronological pandemic years. Tonight is the start of the Jewish holiday of Purim where we read the biblical story of Esther and how she saved the Jewish people from destruction (once again). It is a joyful holiday with costumes and carousing. I always think of it as a Mardí Gras like celebration in a still somewhat cold and often gray month. But remember, Spring is not far behind.

These are shadow puppets I made to dramatize the story of Esther. I don’t have a video of the actual puppet play so I am just posting still photos of the puppet scenes.

THE END!

HAPPY PURIM!

Ahhh, the Ides of March! Beware (especially if you are Caesar…otherwise it’s not so bad!).

In the dead of a pandemic winter, what to do? You guessed it -take another workshop! This time, Winter Ecology through the North Branch Nature Center. One of my most favorite places on earth. The workshop was on Zoom but we were encouraged to go out and explore the winter world outside. I know I’m supposed to be able to identify the plants I saw but I can only name a few – Rudbeckia, Burdock, Queen Anne’s Lace. Much more interesting to me though to know about their structures, their life cycles, how they survive and recreate themselves. Guess I’m not much of a scientist (at least not an IDer type scientist). Oh well, I still like taking the workshops…and the photos.

Here is a photo collage I made of my photos of winter weeds. Their seeds are dispersed in a variety of ingenious ways: blown by the wind, catching a ride in an animal’s fur, swallowed but not digested by birds or other small animals then released in their droppings. Some are scattered when a creature just brushes by them. Some explode.

And here’s a poem:

Borne On the Wind

*******************

How I wish I could lighten up,

Be like a milkweed seed

Borne on the wind to land and take root

Wherever Nature may please.

***********************

There would I grow upright and strong,

Host to a hungry one

Who’d eat it’s fill of me and then

A chrysalis become.

************************

Soon the Monarch would emerge

Hold fast to my stem and wait

For it’s wings to dry until it could

Fly eagerly off to mate.

*************************

My fragrant flowers turned to pods,

The pods dried up and when

From each two hundred seeds burst out

Borne on the wind again.

Moving right along around nine months into the pandemic and almost halfway through the marathon. I haven’t exactly been chronological (I am about as non-linear as one can be) but I have been attempting to go in a somewhat temporal order…

It was Thanksgiving, the first one during the pandemic and for the first time in my life that I can remember I did not make or attend a Thanksgiving dinner. But I had been going to a workshop – watercolor painting in nature. So combining Thanksgiving and watercolor here is what I came up with. (Not exactly what my instructor had in mind but hey, chickens are part of nature aren’t they?)

Time for another silly video. While pandemic cruising the internet I found Elena Faverio…or maybe she found me. She is a performance artist who was doing a fundraiser for Black Arts Futures, an organization that supports artists of color. She was asking writers/performers to write a “playlet” based on responses to her prompts. Kind of like the old Adlibs game we used to play when we were kids. (Remember Adlibs?).

She gave us nine prompts, one at a time, and a few minutes to write in response to each prompt before going on to the next one. Here are the prompts she gave us:

A gift

Did I ever tell you?

An unanswerable question

An unexpected sound

A joke

A simile or a metaphor

You know what they say…

An animal

A race against time

Here is my piece of writing in response to her prompts…very stream of consciousness…Read by yours truly. (I guess I didn’t need to say that as I’m sure you will recognize me.)

Writing from Prompts
https://youtu.be/2prXg3ISDMI